Gratitude

2013 is FINALLY over.  That's one thing to be thankful for.

In all seriousness, I have had a LOT to be thankful for this year.

• God...because He's made all this possible.
• Love...because it makes my world go 'round.
• My family...because they make it all worth it.
• My friends...because they know I'm crazy and love me anyway.
• My brother...because we're anomalies together.
• My cat, Timber...because she's my snuggle bug.
• My home...it's where magic happens.
• My freedom...without it, everything else wouldn't be so amazing.
• Coffee...because without it, I couldn't appreciate anything else.
• My vocabulary...because it's sexy and I worked hard for it.
• My computer...I'd honestly be lost without it.
• My Kindle...because my house is too small for all the books I love.
• Pinterest...because I love to be inspired.
• Google...because I love checking my facts.
• The Dollar Tree...because saving money is awesome.
• Amazon...because spending money is awesome too.
• Hastings...because Chai Lattes don't make themselves.
• Sushi...it's THAT important.
• Indian Food...Lamb Curry & Garlic Naan.  Yes please.
• The Olive Bar at Fred Meyer...makes my tastebuds happy.
• Tea...because it's wonderful.
• John Williams & Hans Zimmer...I love you guys.
• Pandora...because I love my music my way.
• Audible...because sometimes I want to read while I'm working on something (or driving).
• Snow...because hot flashes suck.
• Heat tape...because frozen pipes suck even more.
• Hot showers...no explanation needed.
• Pajama pants...because comfort is one of my favorite things.
• Slippers...because shoes and cold feet suck.
• Red Tail Sangria...because it's delightful.
• Hard Ciders...because adults need juice too.
• Apple Ice Wine...because it's amazing.
• My tastebuds...because I thought I had lost them forever.
• Dr. Perez & his team...for saving my life.
• The nurses on the 4th floor at St. Luke...for taking such good care of me.
• My neighbor...because he's like a grandpa to me.
• Electric pencil sharpeners...I can get back to writing just that much faster.
• Crayons...for making me feel like a kid.
• My church...for reminding me I have a lot to be thankful for, to slow down, and give thanks.

I know some of it might seem silly, but it's all true.  This year, I'm going to do my best to remember to be more thankful and present...to appreciate to the little moments that make it all worth it.

Happy New Year.

A Season of Thanks in a Time of Change

(This is a repost from an old blog...but it's still a valid posting for me.)

A lot of people count their success and the quality of their life primarily by the possessions they own and the position they have within whatever community they count themselves part of. I've been guilty of that, and to a degree, I'm still guilty of it. However, I've come to the conclusion that the material is transient (as is, in truth, everything else). I am grateful for what I have, what I own, but I no longer believe that my possessions define my life.

A wise man once said that the Universe is conspiring to give us everything we need. I believe those words to be truer than most. What we need and what we want are two entirely different animals. Occasionally, what we want is what we need, but usually not.  I am thankful for every person who has touched my life for better and not.

Buddha said that our [so called] enemies are our greatest teachers because they make us identify those traits in them that we despise and then identify them within ourselves. I am grateful for those people who have rubbed me the wrong way because they've left me with infinitely valuable lessons and insights.

I'm incredibly grateful for the people in my life who enter my presence with a smile, kind word, warm hug, and a happy thought. These are the people who show me every time our paths cross how fortunate and how rich I really am. A conversation I had with a good friend last night made me realize how derelict I've been in making sure that people know how much they mean to me.

People are always talking about the "starving children in China" and the "sick and dying people in Africa". Yes, those are sad facts of life, but at the same time, what about the emotionally bankrupt people of the world? People who have everything they could ever want, but they don't have a kind word for anyone, there's never a message on their voice mail left "just because"? I feel sorrier for those people. Starvation, sickness, and death are all part of the human condition. But emptiness of the soul is a travesty. And I am everyday grateful that I have people around me who help prevent that happening within myself. I only hope that I return the favour.

With every step, every breath, every beat of my heart, I give my thanks, for I shall never want.

*

"The planet does not need more successful people.  The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of all kinds." -- the Dalai Lama

*Photo found on Google images

Miley...Miley...Miley

Betty White has hit the nail on the head.

And I don't care if this was actually taken while Gaga was on stage...it's perfect.

Seriously.

Wow.

It's not that I'm overly shocked by Twerkgate (I did survive Nipplegate, remember)...it's just that I'm disturbed by the direction things seem to be going.  It just gets me when I see people doing things that I know would make me want to use my head to repeatedly hit a hard surface 10 years from now if I did them.  

And maybe this is a little high-handed of me, but I do believe that celebrities do have a sort of responsibility to their fans.  Lead by example, folks.  I guess it should be soothing to know that hypocrisy is rampant elsewhere other than in my own life...but it's not.

So...I want to share a few things that I'm planning on sharing (in my own words) with the two monkeys I'm helping to raise now.  

The first is an Open Letter from Mother to Daughter.  I'll have to break it down a bit for Nina as she tends to get sidetracked by the funny bits of things, but the foundation is sound.  

The second is The Postscript to the aforementioned blog post.  That's for adult use to make sure we're clear on everything.  

The third is a letter from father to son on What a Real Man Really Is.  This one I will be delivering verbatim to Gavin.  

For the record...I am not anti-Miley or Robin Thicke (I actually had no idea who he was until a few weeks ago).  I'm just anti-having-kids-look-up-to-you-for-all-the-wrong-reasons.  That's all.

Parents...good luck.  It's a harder world out there.  It's not an easy fight.

Life in the Non-Smoking Section

I haven't had a cigarette now for FIVE WEEKS.  After smoking for over a decade, that's no mean feat.

I was always an outdoor smoker, though.  My house in Joshua Tree has an amazing patio that I had set up into an outdoor living room of sorts where I would spend hours everyday, usually with a cigarette in hand.  My home here in Idaho has a lovely deck that I have likewise turned into a very comfortable living space where I have spent countless hours...also with a cigarette in hand.

I was worried when I got out of the hospital (where I had gone a solid week without nicotine of any kind) that I wouldn't be able to enjoy my outdoor space as much because it might be a trigger.  I've been delighted to find that what was once my smoking place has become one of my creative spaces instead.  I spend hours out here curled up on the futon (I am right now) writing these posts out longhand on a legal pad clipped to an old clipboard I've had since grade school, working on my book, reading other blogs, perusing my Kindle, working on a blanket, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee or a bottle of cider.

(I actually only miss smoking when I first get behind the wheel.  That's when I REALLY want a cigarette.)

My brain tells me that I do miss smoking.  My tastebuds tell me that this is a lie.  Either way, I'm just happy I can enjoy my old smoking space without a cigarette firmly in hand.

And that makes life even better...

Tying Knots

So yesterday, I decided to teach myself how to knit.  One Sheepish Girl is partly to blame for this (her contribution to Artful Blogging was brilliant and utterly relatable).  Pinterest is responsible for the rest of it.  I got tired of seeing awesome needlework and being excited about it, only to discover that it's knit and not crochet.

Bugger.

So...I took myself down to Walmart and picked up a set of size 8 aluminum knitting needs and a skein of yarn I knew Nina would like (my first real crochet project was a scarf...might as well keep up the tradition).  I then found an awesome tutorial video over at Knitting Help (thanks again to One Sheepish Girl for suggesting online videos), and a few hours later, I could do a long-tail cast on like a pro.  Turning it into a second row took a little more time and a lot more patience (at one point, I said to hell with it and went back to the blanket I'm crocheting for Gavin), but I figured it out...finally.

Making progress on Nina's scarf.

Getting it to the third row...THAT took until this morning when I watched some more of the video.  I could not figure out why my first stitch either looked like crap or just unraveled on me.  God bless the instructor and her slip stitch.  I've now got six rows (little victories) and Nina is excited about having a scarf.  So excited in fact, that she asked if I would teach her how to knit.  So now she's making a hat on a loom (it's knitting...sort of).  I got her started with practice yarn to see if she likes what she's doing and so if it got COMPLETELY messed up, we wouldn't be out yarn.  She knows once she finishes the hat, she'll get AWESOME yarn.

Nina learning how to loom knit.  

Hooray for the sounds of happy silence.

Here We Go (Again)...

So here we are again.  It's been awhile.  In my defense...life has been at times both too crazy to have time to blog or too boring to be of much interest (even to myself, at times).

Why are we here?  Simple.  My life once again changed radically about six weeks ago (and I have the scars to prove it).  It has made me reevaluate the things that are important to me:  the people I love, the people who love me, my cat, good food, my Pandora station, having the eye of a child when looking at the world, and the written word.

So...once again, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.  Hang on.  It's going to be one helluva ride.

Apple geek...

Alright...I gotta say it again.  I LOVE my iPad.  I love the funny pictures I get to take of Roy's kids.

I love the beautiful pictures I get to take of the world around me  I love that I can actually write on it (see earlier post) AND listen to Pandora while doing so.  I love looking at the stars with the kids, taking a picture of a constellation, having it identified, and then telling the kids the story behind it.  I love that I've got everything at my fingertips when I'm working on my book.  

I love the portability, possibility, and functionality.  It's been a creative revelation to me.  It is simply amazing how one little device can so drastically change your life.  It has wiped out the majority of my creative excuses.  Everything I need to write this blog, work on my novel, or capture snapshots of my life fits in my purse.  And THAT is a marvelous kind of freedom.

Curly Girl Confessional

I have a confession to make.  I am a curly girl.  I always have been...and I always will be.  But now I'm out and proud about it.  

I haven't touched my straightening or curling irons in over a month.  

Or wore a shower cap on days I just need to scrub my butt.  

Or used a brush.

I no longer worry about what's happening to my hair on humid days (not that there's many of those in the dead of winter in Idaho), or how I look when I'm done at the gym (vain, I know).  Instead of crushing and frying those curls into submission, or bemoaning the weather, I just go with it now.

All through my life, I've had straight girl envy (being jealous of girls with straight hair).  I still do to a certain extent.  I still catch myself coveting that head of beautiful, glossy, easy-swinging, stick-straight hair I see when I'm out and about...but I'm learning to love my head of schizophrenic hair.

I was thinking back to growing up and spending summers in Ventura and how, after a day of surfing or just being a kid at the beach, I would wash my hair with whatever product my grandmother had gotten me, vigorously rub my hair with a towel, and then proceed to blow-dry AND straighten my hair...a process that maybe lasted a few hours.  If the fog rolled in, I was screwed.  All that time spent fighting nature, thinking I just had crazy frizzy hair when I could have been out just being a teenaged beach bum.

I still remember the one time I had my hair chemically relaxed.  I was about 15, and as if life wasn't already difficult enough before I sat down in that chair...sweet Jesus.  I ended up having to lop my almost waist length (straightened) hair off to my shoulder blades because it was fried beyond recognition.  Not that I learned my lesson.  When I got out of the military, I seriously considered doing it again.  Thank God I didn't.

Back in November, I went to get my hair trimmed and colored.  When I walked into the salon, I had just let my hair do whatever I wanted and it was a crazy mane of kinks and curls.  That was the smartest hair move I ever made.  The stylist recognized the potential and then worked with it.  She then turned me onto a book that changed the way I view and deal with my hair:

My hair has a mind of its own...I'm learning daily how to accept and work with that.  Finding products that enable me to achieve something other than a mess has been handy.  Do yourselves a favor, curly girls...treat your hair right.  May those straight girls get curly girl envy.  

And so it begins...

There are days when I can barely manage to form a coherent sentence verbally.  Most days, it's a struggle to do so on a keyboard.  Why I became a writer is sometimes beyond me.  Maybe it's because I love a challenge.  Most likely because I was dropped on my head as a small child one too many times.  Either way...here I am.  

This past year has been one of incredible change.  Ultimately, all of it good although a lot of it didn't seem that way at the time.  After dancing barefoot across the desert for the better part of twenty years, I find myself dancing barefoot across the snow in Idaho.  (Told you...dropped on my head.)  Out of all the changes and the lessons that came along for the ride, I have come to the conclusion that life IS a scavenger hunt.  We stumble our way along, trip over various artifacts (some interesting, some grimy, some barely noteworthy), sometimes we pay attention, but for the most part we seem to just bounce around.  I'm done being aimless.  If life is going to bounce me around, I'm going to pay attention and enjoy the ride.  You only get to go once.

Five days ago I woke up from a dead sleep with a list of promises to myself for the year:  "My resolutions: to replace frustration with patience, to read more, to write everyday, to be in awe of my surroundings and take note of them, to commit random acts of senseless kindness, and laugh daily."  This next year I plan to carry my camera with me no matter where I go, cook more often with the people I love, attempt to accomplish greater things than just making it through the day without killing someone, work on (and finish) my novel, quit smoking, learn to play the guitar, get my flat ass to the gym on a regular basis, talk about books I'm reading (and listening to) with other people who are also reading, collect snowflakes on my eyelashes, bring smiles to strangers, and laugh as often as possible.

So welcome aboard.  Strap yourselves in and make yourselves comfortable.  It's going to be a helluva ride.